


Are We Wrong?

by Luke_2020



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings, Fluff and Angst, Human, M/M, Sibling Incest, Trans Male Character, Trans Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:35:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25808209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luke_2020/pseuds/Luke_2020
Summary: Connor and Richard have been hiding their relationship for years. One night, Richard failed to pull out and their world start to fall apart.I suck at summaries, also Hank is their dad.
Relationships: Connor/Upgraded Connor | RK900, Hank Anderson & Connor, Hank Anderson & Upgraded Connor | RK900
Comments: 29
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

Richard curled around Connor in his bed. He carded through his brother’s hair. Moonlight was filtering from the blinds, illuminating Connor’s face. He looked like an angel.

“Mmm. That was great,” Connor mumbled, and then stretched his arms, “Dad’s still in the other room. I know he sleeps like a rock, but.. I was pretty loud…” he then rolled over to look Richard in the eye. Both of them were still covered in sweat, but neither of them were brave enough to turn on the shower at two am.

“Well, I think if he didn’t figure us out by now, I don’t think he ever will. We’re starting college soon, and we’ve been doing this for how long?” Connor snorted. Richard stretched out his arm and began to gently rub his brother’s arm.

“We really need to clean up…” Connor then let his eyes flutter shut.

Richard chuckled and stroked his cheek. “Tomorrow morning, brother. You look like you’re gonna pass out right now.” Connor answered only with a huff, and then he returned to his peaceful slumber. Richard just wanted to stay like this forever.

Connor woke up first the next day. Richard had to finish his last shift of his old job tonight, so he let him sleep. He creaked open his bedroom door. His father was still asleep, so he just quietly made his way to the shower. He felt Richard’s residue dried on his thighs. Gross.

Then he felt something wet slide down his leg. Connor abandoned all pretense of being quiet and slammed the door to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and while waiting for the water to heat up, he sat on the toilet. Connor watched in horror as he felt Richard’s essence slowly leak out of him.

He then shoved fingers inside, and tried to scoop it out. He did it with such haste he almost flung it on the wall. His fingers were shaking and he forced himself to stop hyperventilating. It’s too early to know… 

Steam began filling the room, and Connor remembered that he was supposed to take a shower. Connor then scrubbed himself down as much as he could. This shouldn’t be happening. But is it? It’s too early to tell. 

Connor screeched when he heard the bathroom door open. 

“Hey Concon. You were making some noise, and wanted to check on you. That and I smell like I haven’t showered in a week.” He pulled back the curtain, and then got in behind Connor. Connor made no acknowledgement of his presence, and tried to refocus on washing himself. “Hey, big brother, is something wrong? You… seem off.”

Connor hummed. “Damn, only one minute in and you already knew something was up.” He sighed. “Nines… You… You fucking came in me! I-I can still get pregnant! If we’re out of condoms then you pull out! I… nevermind.” The few seconds of silence that followed shook them both. Saying it out loud really made it feel real, like that this was actually happening.

Richard stepped back. “I’m sorry Connor. I’m really sorry. O-Ok. It’s still too early to tell anything, but I just want you to know that I’ll be here for you. No matter what happens and what decisions you make about this. Fuck… I messed up, huh?” He shakily poured shampoo into his hand. He needed a distraction. 

Connor sighed. “I need some space. I know that this was a two person job, so just know this: I’m just as pissed at myself as I am at you. I also need to think. What… Do we tell dad?”

Richard rinsed his hair. “I don’t know. We don’t have to tell him that I’m the… suiter.” He didn’t want to say the word. He didn’t want to think that him and Connor could very much be, well, parents. 

Connor sighed and hung his head. “Or we could stop lying. Everyday, outside of our rooms I’m just your brother. I have to remember to let go of your hand, put space between us, and shut my damn sappy mouth. Hell, people in high school always mocked us for being joined at the hip. I… think I’m done pretending.”

Richard then scrubbed Connor’s back. “Are you sure about this? I think that the only person who’d support us is ourselves. It’s just… so taboo.”

Connor turned off the water. “Well, you’re all I need. I mean, it’s not like we really have friends ‘sides Gavin and Jericrew. I think the Jericrew would definitely stand by us.” Richard began drying himself off. 

“Yeah. Markus and Simon would stand by us if we committed murder,” he responded.

“Pshh. North would’ve been the one who gave us the idea!” They shared a laugh. At least they could both still laugh. 

Everything is about to change. For better, or for worse. Probably for worse. And it’s all their fault.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do I write characters without making them miserable and in pain???

Hank woke up early for his day off. Still, his boys beat him to the punch as he heard them rustling in Connor’s room. They almost sounded like they were arguing about god knows what. He made himself some coffee and let Sumo out. Odd, considering Connor usually took care of him because ‘Sumo can’t wait for your lazy ass to get up!’

Eventually the twins made their way out to the kitchen. They joined Hank at the table. Tension rang throughout the house. Usually they’d run their teenage mouths, but today silence nested in the kitchen. 

“‘Morning,” Hank tried. Still there was only the sound of him sipping his cup. “Quiet today, aren’t we?”

Richard nudged his brother. “C’mon! Tell him!”

“No! Why me? You do it!” 

And then it was back to nothing. This whole time neither of them made eye contact with anyone.

“Alright, alright. Why don’t you both just tell me what’s up? This is getting ridiculous.”

Richard sharply inhaled. "ok, at the same time and on the count of three."

"Ok, yeah. Sounds good."

He held Connor’s hand and put three fingers up. Then down to two. And then to one.

“Dad, I might be pregnant.” There was only one voice. Only Connor spoke. He quickly shoved his brother, only his chair shuffling a mere three inches away. Richard pleaded guilty and left to his room.

Hank forgot about his coffee. “What?”

Connor didn’t reply. He kept his eyes on Richard’s door. There was no noise coming from there. Hank needed some time to process that. Connor? He wasn’t even dating anyone! Who…?

Soft sobs broke Hank from his thoughts. Hank got out of his seat and stood beside Connor. “Shh, it will be alright, son. We have plenty of time to decide on how to take care of it. It will be alright.”

Connor just wept harder. Richard just left. His silence spoke much more than the hollow promises from this morning. If Connor keeps this baby, he’ll be truly alone, wouldn’t he? 

  
  


In his room, Richard just listened to the sound of Connor’s tears. Not even a whole day, and he already betrayed the only person who gives his world life. But that is what he is, a coward. He’ll keep Connor at arms length, until Connor realizes that he didn’t want to hide anymore.

The sobbing was too loud. Each whimper, each ugly sob, each tear was just a reminder. Richard put his hands to his ears. Oddly enough, they were wet. His whole face was wet. 

Sunlight was trying to breach through the blinds. Even so Richard bathed in the safe blanket of darkness. In this old room full of ruined memories and broken promises from the previous owner, Richard was comfortable. Inside the abandoned room, Richard was alone. Inside Cole’s room, Richard is quiet.

Outside, Connor and Hank were on the couch. Hank held his son close. He wasn’t letting this one go. Connor was still crying. Connor stayed curled up to his father. He kept clinging to hope. Hank wouldn’t leave him, right? His birth parents… Amanda… and now Richard…? 

Is Connor really that repulsive? Curled up on the couch, with his father murmuring reassurance to him, Connor felt so alone. After everything him and Richard have been through, this is what tore them apart? 

Connor drowned out what Hank was saying. He knew that they were empty promises. As soon as he figures out what exactly happened, he’ll leave too. Honestly, he had them for less time than Amanda did. It’s amazing just how much fake love he’s feeding them. Well, more so feeding himself and that hole that Cole left. 

Connor calmed himself down. He didn’t want to stay there anymore.

“Hey, Con, I just want you to know I still love you,” Hank said.

“Thanks.”

Inside Connor’s room, the tv hushedly displayed the mindless video game Connor was trying to play. He was pressed uncomfortably against the wall. He was trying to listen to his brother, in the bedroom through the wall. He heard nothing.

Hours passed, Connor stayed put. He didn’t truly have any plans for today anyway. The screen droned on with fake lights and fake laughter. Out of spite, Connor made his character kill one of their friends.

“That’s it. Trust no one, Frisk,” he was talking to a screen. And Richard was listening through the wall. He should go to Connor. He should apologize for leaving him. He should comfort his brother. He should comfort his lover. 

Richard sat against the wall in silence. He tried to stand, to break the wall keeping them apart, but his legs refused. He then traced non-existent shapes in the drywall. Connor was a meager foot away from him, and Richard did nothing to close the gap. He sat there, listening.

Time passed, and the sun finally broke through his blinds and illuminated the wall he was leaning against. He took it as a sign to say _something_ to Connor. Richard successfully stood up, and then immediately sat back down. There were footsteps approaching.

There was then knocking, but on Connor’s door. “Hey, son, I got ya the morning after pill. I think it might be too late, but I think we should try it, anyway.”

Richard listened to Connor talk to their father. When the commotion died down, Richard knocked on the wall just like they did when they first came here. There was no answer.

Connor was out in the kitchen and swallowed the damn pill. Hank tried to give him a smile, and Connor immediately threw it in the garbage. Something else was placed in front of him. It was a pregnancy test. 

“It’s still too early to know anything, but after a week we’ll check, alright?” 

Connor gave a non-commitful sound. Hank went back about his business, and Richard’s door opened. He walked over to Connor.

“Nice of you to show your goddamn face, after I needed you.” Connor turned his head away from him. He’s not going to let himself get sucked back in.

“Shit, I know. I know I’m a coward. I know that I should’ve been here for you. I just… I just couldn’t.” He shifted awkwardly from foot to foot.

“Not even a day in and you already broke your fucking promise.” Connor stalked over to his room. Richard tried to follow him, but the door was slammed on his face. 

He stood there awkwardly for a moment, and then he went back to his room. He slid against the wall and knocked in vain. 

There was only silence. Richard buried his face in his hands. For once in his god forsaken life he cried, and made a sound. 

Then, the silence broke. He heard knocking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heY I ADDED A NOT SO SUBTLE LIEMOTIF CAN YOU GUESS WHAT IT IS!?


	3. Chapter 3

Richard left his room, and hovered right outside of Connor’s. He felt as if his dad was staring straight through him, like he knew what he had done and was silently judging him. A calm yet uneasy silence has befallen in the house. Despite the utter chaos mere moments ago, if Richard just focused on this one brief moment he could’ve pretended that everything was alright. As soon as he’d knock on Connor’s door, this moment would be lost. 

So he stood there. It couldn’t have been long, who just idles in a hallway after all? Oddly enough, it was decent there. There must have been clouds due to the unusual darkness creeping in, but it was pleasantly warm. Hank was just in the other room, on his laptop of all things, Sumon was lazily snoring in his bed. Taken out of context, today was perfect. 

Of course Richard had to set things right with Connor. That still needed to be resolved. He raised his hand to the wood, and he froze. He couldn’t face Connor. After promising the sun and moon to him, as soon as he was uncomfortable he did what he always did. Hide. Hide in his fucking room leaving Connor to deal with the consequences. After all, Mom, Dad, and Amanda never really cared who got punished, as long as something was done about it. Honestly, Richard believed that they were borderline sadists. And he wasn’t much better. He’d fuck up, and leave Connor behind because he was too much of a damn coward to take his own punishments. Here he was, doing it all again. Hiding in his damn room while Connor may be growing another damn person Richard put in him. Richard twitched. 

Connor was absolutely  _ terrified _ from the loud pounding on his door. It was only three knocks, but it sounded like whoever was knocking was trying to use it as a drum. After assuring himself that he didn’t have a heart attack, Connor answered the door. Dark brown downcast eyes met blue hypervigilant and determined ones.

“I think you need to knock louder. My door is still attached to its frame.”

Richard rolled his eyes. “I needed to make sure I didn’t pussy out again. I had to make sure I wouldn’t hide in my room.”

“Sooo you compensated by letting the whole neighborhood know that you want to talk to me?” Richard made a small and irritated noise. Connor’s face didn’t move. Then, Richard  _ pouted. _ Damn, Connor hasn’t seen that since sophomore year of highschool. “Alright, get in.”

Richard made his way in, and Connor was sure to shut the door behind him. “Ok, I think… I think that we both  _ may  _ have overreacted about all of this. You locked up, I escalated you, then you panicked and along with the stress of everything else that was going on, you hid in your safe place.”

Richard took a moment to analyze everything. “Holy shit, we were crying over not saying something at the same time. When you put it like this, we sound pathetic.”

Connor snorted. “It was mostly because of what it all represented. Let’s take a step back every now and then to put shit into perspective. Yes it was about not being supported, but maybe it would’ve been easier if we just thought about it as just saying some words?”

Richard hummed. “Maybe. I still feel awful for leaving you alone with Dad to deal with the fallout. That was scummy of me.”

Connor huffed. “Yeah, it kinda was.” Richard waited for something more, but Connor left it at that. “Hey, I’m kinda hungry. We never really ate breakfast, did we? Let’s go find something to eat.”

In the kitchen, Hank was there. Richard went to reach for some cereal, but his dad stopped him. “I ordered a pizza. Figured you two needed a break. Also, someone mind explainin’ the little freak-out you had earlier?”

Connor gave Richard a look, not of malice, but curiosity. Richard took a long and deep breath to settle his nerves. This is his chance to redeem himself. Hank had been nothing but kind and loving since the day that they were adopted. So what he fucks his brother on the regular, right!? Hank surely won’t hate him! What normal, caring, loving father would!? 

“Hnn… I left Connor alone… To talk to you about… about the… Y'know. His.. situation… when he needed support of me most.” Sure, grammatically it wasn’t the smoothest, but at least he answered the question. It was surely better than letting Connor do the talking, or worse, running. Something was still bothering him though…

Connor was proud. Richard may be able to do this after all. It also made Connor feel… safer, knowing that Richard is at least  _ trying  _ to not leave him behind. Maybe it was foolish to believe he can’t trust anyone. Maybe he let his emotions get a better hold of himself. The situation was just too stressful. Any other scenario Richard would be speaking and Connor could rely on his supports. Take it easy, Connor was already tired from this trainwreck of a morning. Let’s just take it slow, eat some pizza, quell the endless pit of anxiety bubbling up and-

“Alsoidadimaybethedad,” Richard half said, half mumbled.

Hank gave him a confused look and a “What??” Richard repeated what he said, but less audibly. Hank just shook his head and leaned closer to hear what Richard was trying to say. Suddenly, Richard shouted.

“HI DAD I’M DAD.” Richard may have been the smarter and more mature one, however Connor had the beautiful gift of social skills.

“The fuck does that even mean? ‘Hi dad I’m dad’? That’s not even how the joke goes…” Hank shook his head. 

Richard closed his eyes.  _ Just think of it as saying random words.  _ He can do this. He took a deep breath, and tried to pretend that he was talking to Connor. “What I meant to say was that I… if Connor’s pregnant, then I’m the… I would be the… the dad.” He did it. And he felt like he was going to throw up.

Hank looked from Richard, who still had his eyes closed (Interesting to see that stoic kid so tongue tied) to Connor who was staring at a very interesting scratch in the floor. “Well.. fuck. Ok. Um… Ah.. Are you two dating, is this a thing or just a one time deal?” Connor shifted uneasily from one foot to another. He went to answer, but surprisingly Richard beat him to it. 

“We have been in a sexual relationship since I was ten, he was twelve.” It was almost frightening how much he suddenly was talking, but Connor could hear it in his voice. It went from frantic to stone cold and calculated. Back to the old Richard, which meant that right now, he was fucking terrified. Hank frowned too. Connor couldn’t tell if it was from the information he was hearing, or seeing Richard rever like that.

Connor sighed. Everything felt like too much. Despite it being eleven am, he wanted nothing more than to snuggle under the covers with Richard in toe. It was just so draining. The colors seemed less vibrant around him, the sounds started to muffle… This rollercoaster of intense ups and downs left Connor with a raging headache. Hell, if he ate anything this morning he may have thrown up. He leaned into Richard. Now that Dad knows, he can just drift into his little world.

“I’m too tired. I don’t want to think anymore,” was all Connor said, and all that needed to be said as they waited for the pizza to be delivered. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor takes the pregnancy test.

Two weeks later Connor sat on the toilet. He stared at the little white piece of plastic in his hands. Connor couldn’t breathe. In the small bathroom, Connor saw the yellow walls closing in on him. His hands started to shake, making the two parallel lines in his hands blur. Oh wait, that was actually his tears blocking his vision. 

Connor wanted to scream, but he still couldn’t find any air. Instead, he stood up and shakily pulled up his pants. Connor faced the mirror, and in it he saw a disgusting whore. A whore so vile that his parents left him. So disappointing that Amanda returned him. So twisted that only a man so broken and desperate to fill the void his true son left could love.

Connor turned the lights off so that he didn’t have to look at himself anymore. Connor then leaned against a wall as he tried to remember to breathe. What felt like a solid fifteen minutes later, Connor faced the yellow wallpaper. He tapped his knuckles against the sheet rock. Then, it went to regular knocking. Richard was in his room, writing a preemptive graded essay for college. Still, Connor kept playing the wall as an instrument. His knocking became harsher, and then full punches into the drywall. Connor kept up his symphony. The burning in his knuckles only served as an encore. At some point, he started hyperventilating. Now, he felt alive.

“Connor? The fuck are you doing? You’re gonna break the damn wall!” Hank bellowed. He tried twisting the doorknob a couple of times before adding to Connor’s instrumental with his own pounding on the door.

Realization hit Connor like a truck that skidded on black ice. “O-oh. I was just… upset.”

“It’s positive, isn’t it Con?” Hank sounded soft.

“...Yes. I’m pregnant,” Connor replied. He stopped his assault on the wall, mostly for Hank and not his bloody hands. 

“Wanna unlock the door, Con?” Hank’s voice was low and concerned.

“No. No, I just want to be alone for some time. I’ll stop beating on the wall. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s gonna be alright, Con. I’ll be here when you wanna talk.” With that, Connor was alone again.

Connor looked around the dark room. What should he do now? Probably get himself under control. He sank to the floor and curled his knees to his chest. That damned test made its way back into Connor’s hands, as if reading it again and again would change the results. Hank got him the medicine! He shouldn't be pregnant! This shouldn’t be happening!

Dread filled Connor. What now? Start college and pray he doesn’t give birth before the second semester ends? Unlikely. What would Richard do? Pretend that he is just some supportive uncle as he dies inside? What about Hank? He adopted Connor and Richard when they were thirteen, could Hank handle another baby? One that will eventually age to six? 

Connor could see it, himself two years from now.

_ Connor slumped into the couch after throwing his books on his bed. A small baby, almost a toddler, crawled along the floor. They stopped at Connor’s feet and began to wail. Connor tried to quell his child by picking them up, rocking them for a moment, and even offering his teat for a quick meal. Nothing works and he spends twenty of his much needed study time trying to understand the baby. _

_ Eventually, a colorful children’s television show captures the child’s attention. Connor quickly uses that opportunity to crack his criminology textbook open. The paragraphs were written in such a way that Connor was certain that the author got off on using complicated language that made him sound smart. It was only thirty minutes before a certain not-quite toddler was screaming again. _

_ Connor held his baby and was able to properly feed them. He hated to be reminded of his anatomy, but damn dysphoria was cheaper than buying formula. Speaking of money, Richard picked up a part time job that may as well have been full time. Richard went to college and then his job for about four hours three days a week, kept one day for nothing but studying, and the rest he worked full eight hour shifts or more. Connor felt worse for Richard than himself. And boy did Connor feel guilty for forcing this upon him.  _

_ Not helping was the fact that from all the strain of the child, shitty minimum wage, and schooling had divided Connor and Richard in ways that he never thought possible. Every evening they fought at dinner. Each morning they woke up in their separate beds in their separate rooms. Worst of all, Richard lost a piece of himself each day from stretching too thin. Connor missed how just two years ago Richard went from his shy but caring and intelligent brother/lover to a workaholic machine.  _

_ Connor then soothed his child into a nap and gently placed them into their crib. It left Connor a chance to finally finish reading and maybe grab a bite to eat if he’s lucky. A couple hours passed and Connor felt relief wash over him that he was able to accomplish all that he needed to that day. It was then shattered as the door opened. Connor rushed to the living room. _

_ “Hey, the baby’s asleep. How was your day? I’ve… missed you.” Connor swallowed hard. _

_ “Good, and my day was shit as usual. I spent eleven hours sweating so badly in that damn kitchen that my gloves became water balloons of my sweat,” His arrogant tone told Connor all that he needed to know. Connor’s eyes flickered to meet Richard’s, and their once blue hue shifted to a dull and lifeless grey. _

_ “Well, I hope it gets better. Would you… would you like to maybe watch something on Netflix together tonight? I never get to see you,” Connor nearly begged. _

_ “I need sleep. And judging by your far away stare and bags under your eyes, you do too. Goodnight, Connor.” And Richard left. Honestly, it was one of the better conversations they’ve had. _

_ Connor changed and almost sank into his bed. He was interrupted by screaming. Soon, all too familiar knocking beat on his wall. Now, it meant for Connor, and the baby, to leave Richard the fuck alone and let him sleep. Once Connor put the baby back to bed, he heard a car pull into the driveway. Oh, Hank’s home from the bar… _

Back in the present, Connor was clenching his stomach. His breathing was erratic and the walls were strangling him. He forced himself to stand and unlock the door.

“Dad, I don’t feel right?” Connor stumbled out into the kitchen. Hank rushed over and held Connor by the shoulders. Connor steadied.

“Shh. Breathe in for three, out for three. Your breathing is out of control. In for three… that’s it… Out, 1… 2… 3… There.” Connor was shaking under his grip. 

Finally, Richard came out of his room. He put a grounding hand on Connor’s back. “Hey, Con… Would you like to tell us what’s wrong…?” His voice had some… emotion, besides annoyance and anger, in it. Connor spun around to see two concerned blue orbs boring into his own. Connor let out a sob and surged forward, locking Richard in an embrace.

“Richard! I-I’m pregnant! Oh god, I’m pregnant, Richard! What are we going to do!? We can’t raise a baby! We-We can only even afford college by academic scholarships!” He pressed his face into Richard’s collarbone. “I can’t! We can’t! I gotta- I’ve got to have an abortion!” 

Richard held onto Connor tighter. Hank stood by them. And Connor eventually controlled his breathing and his tears. 

“Ok, Connor. We’ll talk about this once we’ve… digested this. No matter what option you choose, I will not hate you for it,” Richard tried to soothe. Connor then separated from him and went into his room. 

“C’mon. I need cuddles.” Richard followed inside. He curled himself around Connor in the bed, and Connor pulled up mindless short youtube videos on his phone to get lost in. Richard watched them over his shoulder. Connor felt so… loved, and calmed, in the embrace. This is by far the best breathing exercise he’s ever done.

Richard lovingly ran his hand through Connor’s hair, who leaned into the touch. Connor reached an arm back and squeezed Richard’s side. Eventually, Richard stopped his petting to hold onto Connor around his midsection. Connor rested his hands atop Richards, and atop a budding life. At that moment, they felt alright. 

“Hey, Connor,” Richard eventually spoke.

“Yeah, Richie?” Connor replied. He paused the video and turned around to properly look his brother in the eye. 

“You know how I feel about being called that. Anyway, I was wondering if I could watch you draw something?” He loved the way Connor would just forget everything and become just so engrossed in his work. Sure, it was nice to see the artistic process and watch a drawing come to life, but it was much more endearing to see Connor stick his tongue slightly out and accidentally make the facial expression of whatever character he’s drawing.

“I’d like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeee I put off this chapter too long. I just get so nervous when I think about posting shit


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Richard plan their route, and Connor finally decides on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW mentions of abortion.

Richard watched Connor as he worked on, or well at least tried making, a walk cycle of a character. At first, Connor seemed tense. He never really had someone watch him after all, but over time he let up. At some point, Connor hooked his leg up and began flexing his ankle over and over. Richard had to suppress a laugh. 

“I hate this new program. It’s meant for 3D modeling, not 2D animation!” Connor huffed and all but threw himself backwards.

“Then why don’t you use a different one..?”

Connor rolled his eyes. “I  _ used  _ to pirate Adobe Animate, but now it’s not compatible with Windows 8! Ugh!” Connor’s arms fell to his side in defeat. He saved, closed the program, and broke out his traditional pencils paper and alcohol markers. “What should I make?”

“Sumo, obviously.” Richard was a little shocked that Connor didn’t already just start with that.

Connor giggled. “But I’ve drawn him so many times!”

“And you should!” They shared a laugh and Connor began sketching. He didn’t even need a reference, he has each and every splotch of color memorized.

The next couple of weeks were simple and calm, almost as if nothing had changed in the household. Everyone was grateful for the shift in attitude, the initial shock was suffocating. Now, it was just a mere handful of days before Richard and Connor started college.

“Why don’t you two do a test drive to see how far away campus is? If you two are gonna commute, at least show up on time!” Hank suggested. “I can’t believe it… Already sending you off to college… Jesus, time really does fucking skip by.” Hank then returned to his coffee as it was still just barely ten in the morning. 

Connor and Richard got properly dressed, not just a shirt and boxers, and headed out to the car. Connor was older, so he got his license first making him the unofficial driver of the two. He pulled out of the driveway as Richard fumbled with the GPS. It was only an hour away, with traffic, so neither of them were concerned. Connor was scanning the shops all littering the roadside as he drove, probably more than the damn road. He couldn’t help but notice all of the small cafes and fast food restaurants peppering the area. God… He was just so hungry. It’s probably best to stop and eat at this rate, he clearly can’t focus on the road. They’ll either just subtract the time eating, or just time themselves on the way home.

“What are you looking for? We’re only halfway there. It’s not just gonna appear out of nowhere.” Richard stared straight at Connor, who forced himself to look ahead.

“I’m  _ starving. _ ” He saw a diner and made no hesitation to pull in. He felt his stomach churning and basically clawing at his throat to just fucking eat.

“Why didn’t you eat beforehand? Wait, didn’t you have those sad frozen waffles?” He eyed Connor suspiciously. God he loved Hank, but he was sure hoping that Connor wasn’t picking up on his eating habits.

“Yeah. I did. It was just barely anything, though. I need a real meal.” He parked the car and grabbed his wallet. Richard followed behind with a frown. Connor should not make this a habit… They sat down and Connor appeared to be drooling at the menu. The only problem he could see is that how was he supposed to make a decision with all of this delicious food? He wanted to choose based on the calorie count, but the lowest ones just didn’t have enough!

“Hng… Why am I so hungry?”

Richard shrugged and decided on two eggs over medium. “Sheesh, it’s like you’re eating for tw-  _ oh.”  _ He looked up at Connor, who appeared even more embarrassed than him. “Sorry, Con. I forgot.”

Connor swallowed thickly. “Yeah, me too.” A somber mood befallen them both and it seemed the whole diner got quieter. Connor shook his head, he didn't want a repeat from two weeks ago and the absolute mess that it was. “Well, I guess then I have an excuse to get the grand breakfast platter.” It worked, and both of them were laughing. Despite that, though, a stormcloud was still ebbing at Connor’s mind. Anxiety was chewing at his guts. He needs to make a decision soon, the longer he waits the more attached they’ll be and the more likely that Richard will be stuck with a job that he resents, hold nothing but animosity towards Connor, Connor will be stretched between college and the baby, all while Hank tried his utmost to pick up more hours at the DPD despite needing to retire.

Or maybe, both of them will graduate with well paying jobs.. But… Who the hell would hire him? A trans man raising his child that he had with his  _ brother _ ? He can lie, sure, but for just how long? People will start to ask who the mother is, if she’s dead, then who was she? What if-

Richard waved his hand in front of Connor. “Hey, I know you’re thinking in there. Just… don’t. I hovel up in my room and let my thoughts and guilt eat me from the inside out. And once you start thinking, there’s no way back up the pit you’ve dug yourself. Ok? Try to relax… and just think about how you’ll think college would be like. I’m nervous and excited, you?”

Connor smiled without heart in it. “Yeah. Me too. It’s going to be rough. With COVID and some of the online classes, I’m kinda pissed. Yes the classes will be simplified for our sakes, but that’s just it. I’m paying for an education! I want a good one. Not to mention, of all of my two online ones, one of them  _ is my elective art class.  _ Good thing I’m going for Criminology, online art…” He shook his head. 

“I thought both of us are paying with scholarships?” He sounded so smug.

“Yeah, and I want to properly use it!” And much to Connor’s delight, the food finally came. Connor spared no time to shovel food in. The conversation ended there, mostly from Connor not bothering to look up from his plate and stop chewing. Richard watched in grotesque awe. He’s never seen Connor so… hungry. Honestly, it made eating what was in front of him even harder. He eventually tore his eyes away to focus on his own food to ensure he could eat it.

They paid the bill, and left the diner. Richard pulled out his phone to text Hank whilst Connor drove.

_ Richard: Dad, Connor could probably enter a competitive eating competition. We stopped at a diner and just looking at him eat almost spoiled my meal. _

_ Dad: Haha! Susan had a thing for peanut butter on bell peppers of all things when she was pregnant. Love you _

_ Richard: Love you too. _

He put his phone back and looked at Connor. Clouds were starting to pepper the sky and block the sun. He let his gaze drift to Connor’s stomach. His imagination showed it expanding with time passing on. Suddenly, he felt very sick. Or really, he never felt well since the diner. His stomach churned. All he could do was lower the window and stick his head out before spewing out his breakfast.

Connor snapped his neck to look at his brother. “Hey, you ok?” He began to look for a place to pull over.

“Yeah. I think… I think I just ate too much.” With the amount of clouds blocking the light, the rain will come soon and wash away his sickness from the car anyway. “Keep driving, I’m fine.” Connor continued driving silently. Richard wiped his mouth on his sleeve and kept quiet for the rest of the ride. 

They arrived and spoke nothing more than ‘That’s boger hall’ and similar statements until they decided that they had seen enough and headed back. After about ten minutes, he turned to Richard. “Are you feeling any better?”

Richard quickly nodded his head. “Yeah! I just think that I ate too much.” The churning never left, and as he predicted the rain began to fall. He wanted to forget about the baby again. He wanted to forget his biggest mistake in his life. He rested his head on the window and stared at the city passing by. Connor didn’t take notice as he was driving intently. 

Connor kept his gaze focused. The road ahead had lots of traffic and the rain surely wasn’t helping. City driving involved a lot of stopping and going. Each time he pressed on the break he jolted. Looking at the road ahead, it was horrifically paved. Potholes and gravel littered the street. The car kept going forward, because Connor had no choice. There was no detour for him to take, unfortunately. He wondered about the other routes he could’ve taken, or hell, other schools. However, they don’t matter. This is the road he’s chosen for himself. He glanced at Richard, who was resting his head against the window with his eyes closed. Connor felt so bad that he was dragging him along. It would be so much easier if there was a special highway or a turnoff to take.

But the road just stretched and winded forward. Connor kept driving. What else could he do, stop driving? Stop driving… that would leave Richard alone, though. Sure, Connor would pass off the keys, but Richard would never be the same. He would be so alone and betrayed that after saying he’ll stay with Connor forever, and as soon as the damn road lost its pavement markings and turned to dirt Connor was the one to bail. What would Dad think? Only Richard coming back, without Connor? So that settled it. Despite the construction and the bright red lights shining through the rain, Connor had to keep driving.

The trip never got easier, as he weaved his way through the cars and noticed he only had a fourth of a tank left. He kept his hands tight on the wheel. Richard was resting right next to him. Even if Connor hated this route, hated driving, he had to get Richard home. The sky was dark and stormy, save for the flash of lightning and the headlights of neighboring vehicles. Connor kept his gaze focused. He’ll be driving these roads so often in the near future, he wouldn’t even need to focus. A familiar house came into view, and Connor pulled into the driveway. He put the car into park and shut it off.

Richard stretched and tried to speak, but his damn nausea threatened to make him puke again.

“...Richard, you said that you would support me no matter what path I took with this pregnancy, remember?” Connor was looking straight forward.

Richard straightened up. “Of course, Connor. I will be here.” He tried to prepare himself for what Connor has chosen.

Connor looked ahead of himself, and then back out to the road. “Richard, I want an abortion.” 

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I have no idea where to go since well... The main conflict is kinda reseolved. I don't think this chapter didn't come out that good, probably because I am having a shitty time irl and need some hugs. 
> 
> I also have a twitter now that has some art.... If you want to harass me its @DenureNelson (No that's not my real name)

College started, and the appointment was the next day. Connor anxiously re-read and piled up studying to help pass the time and ease the pit of anxiety forming in his stomach. He swallowed hard. Soon he started chewing his cheek.  _ Tomorrow’s the day.  _ He shook his head and stared back at the PDF textbook.  _ The Zhou dynasty overtook the Shang dynasty and then tomorrow you will make the bigg-. _ Connor leaned back. This clearly wasn’t working. He got up and looked over Richard’s shoulder, who was sitting beside him on the couch.

Richard was done studying, he retained knowledge easily, and was watching youtube videos on his tablet. Connor tried to focus on his screen. Anything to distract himself from the pain in his chest. Richard took notice and tipped the screen to let Connor easily see and also unplugged his earbuds. He was watching Alternate History Hub. Connor smiled fondly. Of course that’s what Richard would be watching. 

Connor kept trying to focus. Focus on what? Anything besides the horrific, shredding pain in his gut. He leaned his head on Richard’s shoulder.

“Hey Richard?”

Richard paused the video. “Yes, Con?” 

“Do you think that I’m making the right choice?”

Richard inhaled deeply. “I don’t think that there is a right or a wrong choice. Just a choice.” Connor nodded solemnly. 

“Ok.”

Richard unpaused the video. After a while, Connor was cuddling and pressing himself up against his brother. Richard wrapped his arm around him. After a while, Hank came home from work at the station. He plopped himself next to the pair and couldn’t look them in the eye. 

“So I got you something so that this doesn’t happen again.” He got up and handed condoms to Richard. Guilt started flowing in his veins. He failed his one damn job. For the rest of the day and into the night, not another word was spoken between the three.

The next day, Connor went to his appointment and only allowed Hank to come. He didn’t even want Hank to come, but he couldn’t really say no in case something went wrong. He placed a hand over his stomach in the waiting room. He felt like he was going to throw up, but then his name was called.

He signed the consent form, sat on the chair, took the pill, and had his uterus vacuumed. It was relatively clean. He stood on shaky legs and listened to the doctors drone on about how to take care of himself afterwards. He waddled back to the car silently.

“Everything went ok?” his dad asked. 

“Yeah, I didn’t bleed too bad.” 

“That’s good.”

“Yeah”

The car ride was a blur. Connor rested his head on the window. Should he feel guilty? Relieved? Disgusted? All of the above? Outside his window he tried to look at the road. This is the road he’s chosen and the road he’s on. The rest of the ride passed in silence.

When Connor came home, he dragged Richard with him to the couch. Richard didn’t speak a word and just held Connor. How did he feel about all of this? Connor tried to vocalize his concern, but all that came out was a broken sob. Richard just held him tighter. Connor hated the silence, so he tried to speak again.

“It’s over” 

Richard nodded and carded his hand through Connor’s hair. “Yes, it is. We can finally go back to our old lives.” It was a lie, nothing will be the same. But it was a comforting lie, and that’s what Connor needs right now.

Connor buried his face in Richard’s collarbone. It’s over. Now what?

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope that this doesn't suck.


End file.
